61 thoughts on “Grief and Loss

  1. I believe that my dad died for a reason.
    I don’t remember the first time that I was told he was dead. The moment that my mom must have inevitably told my twin sister and I the details: that he passed away from melanoma one month before we were born. But I do know that with moments like those came a push to grow up a bit faster.
    Although him being gone hurts my heart endlessly, I have wholeheartedly internalized the idea that “everything happens for a reason.” My situation is unique because the main struggle for most kids with deceased parents is missing them. The problem for me is that it is very hard to miss someone you have never met. The deep craving of wanting someone back gets distorted when you never had them in the first place. Instead I find myself yearning to live the way he did. To imitate his nature-loving, outgoing, and optimistic life. For me, it has never been him physically, but the stories and mentality that he represents that I have desired and chased throughout the years. I believe that without the knowledge that he is looking down on me, I would not be as motivated and not be who I am today. I believe every child who has lost a parent feels a sense of responsibility to live life to the fullest because they know all too well that it can be robbed from them. I believe that I must keep my head up when things get tough because God knows he did.

    Like

    • Your story is amazing. Living with this loss must be difficult, and how you stay so positive and strong-willed is really admirable.

      Like

    • Your story is so strong. I admire you the way you have coped with the loss of such a meaningful person to your life. I feel your pain of loss as I just lost my Grandmother two weeks ago. No matter how long you knew them it hurts. Loosing anyone so meaningful in your life is very hard to deal with and to try and find the positive. Knowing they are watching over us helps a lot.

      Like

    • While I did not lose my father, I believe I can understand how you feel in this situation. My grandfather passed away right before I was born, and I have had to be satisfied with only stories of how great a man he was while I try to live up to the example he had set for my entire family. I understand how difficult it can be to miss and grieve for someone that you never even were able to meet.

      Like

    • Wow Bella, this was truly heart wrenching! A loss is something that is hard to swallow for many people, and it stinks that anyone has to go through the grief of a loved one. As you said, maybe this difficult loss was a blessing in disguise, it may sound weird, but it truly can be something special. Although you have never met your father yet, I am sure he is watching over you as you come into this year and the next years of your educational journey. Always remember be strong, you got this!

      Like

    • First off, I am so sorry to hear about your father.
      I admire your strength going through this loss and dedication to live as your father did. I’m sure he is looking down at you and he must be so proud of who you’ve become. This story shows just how precious life is: it can be taken at any second. Again, so, so sorry. But God bless you for everything you’ve gone through. Thank you for sharing a powerful story.

      Like

    • I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must be to grow up without a father. Your words prove you are a strong and well spoken person, I’m so sorry for your loss.

      Like

    • This was very well written. I also have a close family member who has passed away before I was born and I was able to relate to a few things you said. Thank you for sharing your story.

      Like

  2. I believe that the loss of a loved one while heartbreaking and tragic can help people become better and improve themselves. My mother passed away from stage 4 colon cancer in 2016 and I’ve never been the same since. It was an awful period in my life, I was sad constantly and stricken with grief, it felt like it would be impossible to recover. However I did recover, albeit slowly, and found myself a more independent and stronger person afterwards. I was always very dependent on my mother and struggled to do things on my own and get my own problems fixed, and with her gone I had no choice but to toughen up and become my own person. I am confident that if my mother was able to see me as I am now, she would be proud of me or at very least surprised to see what I’ve become. Losing someone is obviously never a good thing, no matter the situation or circumstances behind why someone passes it’ll never something that doesn’t instigate a negative response. However when it comes to griefing and recovering from loss, it’s important to not look into the past and regret and wish they could’ve lived, it’s important to look into the future and make it the best you can make it. Live life to the fullest and follow your dreams, all the while remembering those from your past who loved you and affected you. Do not forget those who you have lost.

    Like

    • I admire your ability to overcome and accomplish, despite this past tragedy. You bring up a very important point that no matter how difficult life gets, eventually it will get better over time. I have lost family members in the past too, and looking toward the future rather than regretting the past has also allowed me to overcome these difficult times.

      Like

    • “Charlie’s dead?” I didn’t understand. Tears began to roll down my face and I couldn’t do anything but sit right there on the sidewalk and cry. When I was walking to my friends house one day last year, I received a call informing me of my boyfriend’s fatal overdose. He was living in California at the time, attending college and it had been a couple days since I’d spoken to him. Deep down I couldn’t do anything but blame myself for his death. During moments when the grief and depression I felt after this tragedy were significantly worse than usual, I would think of the conversation I had with Charlie’s father at his memorial service. I will never forget it. What stood out to me the most was him talking about how he wants to make Charlie proud and I decided I would do the same. I believe that when a loved one has passed that is all you can give to them in exchange for the presence they once had in your life. Instead of letting these awful feelings take over our lives we need to work as hard as we can to accomplish our goals, because that’s what Charlie would have wanted. Everything that he was unable to do, such as graduate college, because his life was taken away too soon, I want to do in his honor and to the best of my ability. I have used this experience to improve upon myself and if this had never happened I would not be the strong and confident woman that I am today.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Darcy, I find your piece extremely well articulated and compassionate. I too have dealt with a sudden, unexpected loss of a loved one, and it can be incredibly difficult, even impossible to understand; blaming yourself is all you may have at that time. Living the life we have in their memory, I also believe is one of the best ways for us to cope and give back to them. I am so very sorry for your loss. These situations can be painful to accept, and even harder to live with, but it changes us, and we would not be as resilient or our authentic selves without it, with the ability to reflect upon it. Your words are encouraging and I am proud of you for sharing. Thank you.

        Like

    • This is so inspirational to not only me, but to others who are grieving the loss of someone or something. I am so happy you were able to overcome such a big moment and your life and to live life knowing your mom is looking over you and is overwhelmingly proud of who you’re becoming.

      Like

    • I agree wholeheartedly. Loss in all forms can be an excellent reason to push forward past the worst moments in our lives and exceed expectations. Remembering the past while moving towards a brighter tommorow is the best that we can do.

      Like

  3. I believe in missed chances
    I can remember the exact moment that I knew my grandfather had passed away. December 12th, 2014 at about 10:30 at night. He had been battling bone cancer on and off for about 8 years. My mom had woke me up earlier that night to tell me that she was on the way to hospital. She didn’t really give me a reason way she was going to the hospital and I didn’t insist on asking. Maybe 20 minutes later, I got this really sick feeling at the bottom of my stomach. I felt like something was wrong. I wrote it off as my stomach being upset with something I had for dinner. I heard the front door open, signaling that my mom was home. She walked down on hallway and stopped right in the doorframe of my bedroom. She didn’t have to say anything, I knew right away what had happened. I burst into tears while my mom embraced me. I remember cursing at God, yelling at Him for taking away abuelo, asking what I did to deserve to lose him. My mom told me to not be mad at God, because His intentions were not to hurt me, but to help abuelo stop hurting. At the moment, I could not believe her. I was too hurt and starting to fill with regret. Why? Just days before I had dropped food off to him and didn’t wake him up, didn’t kiss him on the cheek or even say the usual blessing I say when I see him. That was the last time I saw him and I’m left wondering if he had any last words for me.

    Like

    • I am so sorry for your loss, and I have a very similar experience. My grandmother passed away to cancer almost a year after your grandfather, but she chose to remain at home throughout her time. Fortunately, a distant family member was a nurse and had been staying with us for a few months to care for her. I remember waking up one morning and being told that she was expected to pass that day, and that I should share any last words with her. All I could do was freeze. How could I bring myself to face her, knowing I could never do it again? I retreated to my room and went about my day just as I had for as long as I could remember, pretending I hadn’t heard that it was her last day. That night my mother ran up the stairs sobbing and I knew it had happened before she even opened the door. I had never really believed in God, but for a while after I felt that there had to be some greater force out there to be able to cause so much pain. I regret not thanking her for everything she had given me. Your story is very powerful, and I feel stronger knowing that someone shares a similar experience with me. I am here to support you if you need anything.

      Like

    • Natalie, I believe I understand how you feel. When my grandmother passed away at the beginning of this year, I found myself regretting not spending much time with her in those last days, not being with her when she took her last breath.

      Like

  4. I believe in perseverance when in the face of adversity.
    My mother was diagnosed with melanoma cancer when I was only 12 years old. I became not only the caretaker to my mother, but also had to step up and take care of my disabled brother. Three short years after she passed away June 27th, 2015. I had just ended my freshman year, and was being sat down in front of a counselor to decide where I was going to live. Either stay in Colorado and live with my brother, or move to Rhode Island to live with my sister. With no time to cope I packed my bags and flew out to start my sophomore year in the unknown. Everything had happened so fast, within months I was motherless, friendless, and alienated amongst my own peers.

    Through the disadvantageous life, I shared with my mother and brother I learned how to lead my life in a more successful direction. In high school I have had to learn how to manage my own schedule, budget, and priorities in order to successfully get through my day to day life. I have become the strong and independent woman my mother would have wanted to see grow up. My life and who I am would have been different if she did not pass, but since I have moved to Rhode Island I have developed and been further molded into a woman with the help of my sister. The base that my mother left was the foundation for my sister’s further instruction. Perseverance is surviving the tragedy, the grief, the struggle, and somehow finding a way to be happy again.

    Like

    • Lily, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m inspired by your courage. Starting over, in a new place, requires us to dig deep to find strength we often didn’t know we had. We’d love to hear more about your story if you decide to submit to the essay contest.

      Like

    • Although I have not physically lost a parent, I share a similar story of loss. I understand how it feels growing up and having to mature much earlier than most kids and teach yourself how to develop into adulthood alone because unfortunately there is no mother figure to do so. But, having family that love and care for you to fall back on is something everyone should never stop being thankful for!

      Like

  5. I believe that losing a loved is more difficult to cope with at a young age.
    When you’re older you understand death and the loss of a loved one better than you would at a young age. I was 6 years old when my grandfather past away. I don’t remember much about him other than celebrating our birthday together since we had the same birthday. Still to this day I believe that celebrating our birthday together made us closer. Maybe that’s why the memory of my parents explaining to my 6 year old self that my grandfather had died is still vivid. He was in the hospital a couple weeks before Christmas, and I wasn’t allowed to see him. He was in a part of the hospital where little kids were not allowed. I couldn’t even see him Christmas day, but I do remember helping my mom make paper ornaments for a small fake tree she put in his hospital room. He died on December 31, 2006 only 6 days after Christmas. Our tree was still up with some of our presents under it when my parents sat both my brother and I down on the couch, and explained to us what had happened. I remember feeling like my heart was permanently broken, and I started crying in my moms arms. I can remember being mad at my brother because he wasn’t as upset as I was. My parents then explained to me that he was only 4 years old and didn’t understand what was happening, but I was still mad at him for not understanding. Losing a loved one, not being able see them for several weeks, and never getting to say goodbye is very difficult to deal with especially when you are 6 years old. As I got older I realized it wasn’t my fault that I didn’t get to say goodbye to him, and that he’s watching over me and my family. I still miss him all the time, but I am grateful that even though he is gone I still get to share my birthday with him every year.

    Like

  6. I believe that suffering from a death from someone close to you could make you stronger as a person.

    I remember the day like it was just yesterday. It was like a piece of me left my body. I ached for weeks. I remember laying on the floor asking god “ why?”. He alone only knew how bad I cried and wanted to see my brother one last time.

    I never seen a mother break down as much as I did. Although, I had other siblings this sibling was the only sibling that looked like my mother and I. Early in the afternoon, I get a call from my mother telling me “ Eshon” my brother, didn’t make it. She cried. She houled. I listened. There wasn’t much I could do but bare the pain of my mothers in my heart. Because I was at my grandmas, she asked me if I was okay. I couldn’t do nothing but look at her stupidly in the face and just think to my self why In the hell would I be okay.

    As the day went on I continue to lay on the floor just wondering when will god wake me up from this bad dream. I waited and waited. No, still here. That’s when I began to notice how real this was. I used to watch movies of mothers and families losing their babies but I never would of imagined this happening to me.

    I couldn’t really imagine how my mother felt since she carried my brother for 9 months straight in her stomach. Only thing I imagined was her pushing out a silent baby.

    Weeks later, it was time to bury him. The whole day was such a terrible day. I greIved and waited for a shooting star to pop up in the sky to just wake my brother up. Of course, that didn’t happen. As they lay him in the ground I hold my mother and my brother to my side and silently tell them I love them and I’m here. Really and truly I’m
    Not. I just thought it was something they wanted to hear.

    After his funeral months later my mother and I get asked to see a family therapist. Little did I know this would be the sister to the major of what I want to go to school for.

    Some days I sat with my therapist, and he’d make me cry more. I don’t know why but I’d cry. Some day I didn’t want to attend because I knew this was for me to feel better, but did I ? I noticed how if I started to open up my mouth and talk to him I’d feel way better and that’s what I did. In a few months I felt so good.

    I realized God does things for his own reasons. I felt like the person I was before I am not today and it took a death in the family for me to change. I now lead people into good directions and show them that it’s okay to cry. sometimes I grief with people because they need a shoulder to lean on. I started talking to my mother more. Even more than I have ever did.

    Sometimes bad things happen to good people but only so better things can fall into place. I miss my baby brother dearly but I am happy that he doesn’t have to witness any of the bad in this world.

    So I believe grieving on a loss not only makes you stronger but it makes you cherish the life that you are blessed with. Cherish the life others would die for. Maybe just be grateful for life.

    Like

  7. Death leaves a hole no one can fill. People come into you life and can try to help patch up the holes but they are never truly going to be fixed. July 28, 2014 9:01 pm you left a massive hole I never thought anyone would be able to fill. You were another mom to me and I never truly got to say goodbye to you like everyone else did. I remember when my mom and dad came to camp and told me what had happened. I remember all the pain I felt. How I felt so alone realizing that you were gone. I remembered how I wanted to yell at the doctors for not doing more, but what else could they have done? It wasn’t their fault that the cancer came back kicking and screaming. Now here we are, four years later and I still miss you like crazy. I have people that have come into my life and have helped to patch up some of the holes. They are still there, don’t get me wrong, they’re just are not as big or as deep as they used to be. I’m not crying everyday like I used to. I still have my moments but who wouldn’t? Over this past year I have had people come in and out of my life that have helped me with the loss of you. Losing you was one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. I believe no matter how hard something is in life you will always have people come into your life to help pick up the pieces.

    Like

    • Jordan I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Your story about your strength through the adversity of losing a loved one to cancer is inspiring. I can relate because I have lost a loved one to cancer as well. I understand what it feels like to have that empty void in you that does not seem to go away, but it is also nice to know that there are always people around you who want to help you pick up the pieces.

      Like

  8. Loss can sometimes leave regret in you. I mean not taking opportunities with your friends or family. Keep those who you hold dear close to you, because you’ll never know when you see them again. Always take the chance to see them, before it’s too late, because then you’re left with regret, regret about not having any effort to see them. This has happened to me, because I was told that my great-grandfather had died, and I never took the chance to see him one last time. I loved him very much, and he was like a role model to me, and to all of those around him. I’ll never forget the day when he made small canoes for my brothers and I, and we took them out on the water and had a great time together. I wish I had the chance to do that with him again, because now I miss it, so very much. This past summer has also been an example of loss for me, because I never took the chance to hang out with my high school friends at all, and instead I stayed inside my home and played video games. I’ll miss both my great-grandfather, and those friends, because I haven’t made the effort to see them again. What I’m trying to say, is this: make the effort to see someone you love again, because you’ll never know when you’ll see them next.

    Like

  9. Losing people we love is one of the hardest things we go through in life. They occupy a part of our heart, and leave us to pick up the broken pieces when they leave.

    In my freshman year, I lost 3 close friends one after the other. The first had been a car crash, the second from suicide, and the other was cancer. We had grown up together in my small town, a place with less than 1,000 people. Two of their deaths had been announced at school. We all were stunned. How could they have been gone, when we had just seen them yesterday? They had just been in our halls, blasting Hawaiian reggae on their speakers and joking with our teachers. To this day I am still speechless.

    My other friend I had to watch wither before my eyes. It broke my heart to hear him cry out in pain. I wanted to assure him that everything would be all right, but we both knew that was a lie. As he passed, he made me promise that I would live life for the both of us. To this day, I am trying to keep my promise.

    These experiences have taught me two things: to always cherish the time you have with others and live life to the fullest. We never know when we’ll be gone, so it is best to enjoy each passing moment. Time is fleeting and so are we, but our memories will stay forever.

    Like

  10. I believe losing a loved one is hard at any age but that everything happens for a reason. Losing someone and never being able to see them again is tough.When you have a bond with someone and then poof they are gone. My aunt was in my life since i was a baby. We had a semi close relationship and i enjoyed the time i would spend with her when i would visit my dad’s side of the family in Florida. The summer of 2013 we were in the car driving to my aunt’s college to help her move in. it was really bitter sweet because we still had a good amount of the summer to spend together but she would be leaving for school now. I always believed in living in the present and cherishing every moment with your loved ones. This time it felt different though, i was so angry that she would be going. Later on that night we got into an argument about me leaving to go live with my dad for the summer. I didn’t say goodbye to her. Shortly after this i went back home to New York where i lived with my mother and i’d be starting my freshman year of high school in 2014. Fast forward to March 16th 2014 i was laying in my bed when my mom came in and gave me the telephone and told me to call aunt because she was in the hospital. So i did just that. My grandma answered the phone and said she was asleep and that she would have my aunt call her ass soon as she woke up. She never called. The very next day my mom broke the news to me that my aunt died from leukemia. I was devastated i never got to say goodbye or even tell her i loved her. This was a different type of loss for me, something i’ve never experienced before. I never got closure til this day i still wonder what went on, was she at peace? Was she in pain? Did she suffer? I always say God took her because he needed her, it was her time to go. You never really get over that feeling but it does get better with time. I just know nothing can every fill that empty spot in my heart. This experience has always taught me to forgive and forget because you never know what can happen because tomorrow isn’t promised, and if love someone you should tell them.

    Like

  11. My family, especially my mother’s side, has always been familiar with grief and loss. Only a short while before I was born, my grandfather died, which prevented me from even meeting him, let alone having a relationship with him. During my fifth grade year, my grandfather on my father’s side died. Much more devastating to my family was my cousin’s sudden death in a car accident a few years ago. However, while I mourned all of these family members’ passings, I was not impacted by them to a significant degree. I wasn’t close to my grandfather, and I had no real relationship with my much older cousin. Then, on January 4th of this year, my grandmother died. She had been suffering from dementia for quite some time, as long as I could recall, but in the year or so before her death, she had taken a sharp turn for the worse, so much so that she was completely unresponsive to the outside world during the week leading up to her passing. It was not the first funeral I had attended, but it was the first of a person with which I had a closer relationship. I was a pallbearer, and so helped to carry the coffin from the funeral home to the church, and finally from the hearse to the grave. Placing my grandmother’s coffin on her grave, her final resting place, had a profound impact on my view of death, life, and loss. It brought into sharp focus how our time is limited. Ever since her funeral, I have come to value life in a different way; not just because it is valuable, but because it is fragile and fleeting. Wasting it on frivolous things would be a sad way to spend it, and while we mourn those we loved and lost, we must remember to continue on with our life, to not waste it in sadness. This is why I believe that a core value of everyone should be life itself, the sheer joy of existing, for it is fleeting before we cross the barrier over to the other side.

    Like

  12. While I continue to lounge on my couch and stare in a zombie-like trance at an almost blank computer screen, my mind lingers into a state of pure perplexity. I have depleted countless hours with the hope of bringing to light a thought that can transform itself into an enlightening topic for this discussion. This is not because I am void of any authentic views. In all actuality, I am under the impression that one particular belief cannot be expressed or categorized as a concrete speculation. The only notion I believe wholeheartedly in is the belief that no sentiment is barren of any special considerations. In order to obtain some kind of stability, individuals manipulate their consciousness into blindly accepting cliche-ridden concepts that are incapable of being proven as factual. For example, it is commonplace to believe that “everything happens for a reason”. I previously believed such a testimony to be foolproof myself. I eventually learned and evolved my mentality towards the judgment that tragedies occur in life without logic attached to it. My entire perspective wavered when my benevolent grandmother fought the life-altering diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease with all the strength and courage she had in her. The sickness slowly overpowered her and there was nothing to be done to cease the transition. What valid explanation exists to clarify the reason why someone I loved had to endure endless suffering? This illustrates that at the end of the day, society can only legitimately believe in the concept of ambiguity.

    Like

  13. I am going to start off with some background information and say that I love new technology, an Android fan, love 3d printing and gaming. I like to have fun whenever possible. I have a friend named Alison she was supposed to come join UMASS Dartmouth class of 2022 but after she graduated she went into surgery and passed away. Every time I think about UmassD now I think about her and how she will not be joining me this year. She was the only friend of mine that was going to this college and it hurts me just to know that we will not experience this journey together. I hope that I can make new friends and new experiences to balance out the bad experiences. I want to experience something new that I have never experienced before, but I am terrified. I am terrified because I know no one here. I hope that I can meet new people with my interests of 3d printing. I just love how I am able to say for example “I need a new paper towel holder” download it online or design it myself and then print it right in front of me and it will cost less than a $1 to print. Anyways if I had to tell my new classmates something about me, is that I am shy at first, I will just try to stay out of the way and not be a bother. Once you get to know me, however, I am much more. I will help you with anything you need whenever I can, I am loyal and I am there for you no matter what happens and I hope that you will do the same for me.

    Like

  14. 1
    OBLIGATIONS IN OBSTACLES
    Life. Life is a beautiful masterpiece that is subjected to a lot of beautiful colors. These colors, or shades if you may, transpire into the different seasons of our lives. Thereby, there is a symbolic connection between the different shades of color and each circumstance of our life. For instance, happiness can be linked to the color yellow. The color black or gray can be linked to a period of turmoil and sadness. Occasionally, from my perspective, it may seem difficult to believe that the dark clouds will eventually disappear, especially when you are within the situation. However, there was a certain predicament in my life that changed my prospect towards every season of life. That particular season helped me to inhabit a concept that I will never forget for the rest of my life.
    I woke one morning and instantaneously, I knew that there was something different about the air. The atmosphere smelled of death and darkness. It was like there was a dark cloud sitting over the city. My curiosity led me to my living room and into my porch. My instincts were accurate. There was a large cloud sitting over the city, literally. The cloud appeared to be getting ready to release a down pour of grief, mourning and chaos. I went back into my living room and turned the television on. Apparently, the worst thing to happen to Sierra Leone, after the historic civil war, was in gear and ready to cause a rampage. The ebola epidemic had just begun.
    I was petrified. I didn’t know how to act or react in that moment. I had the urge to help but didn’t know any possible way. Being the first and oldest son in my family, I am viewed as a guardian and protector to my siblings. So it is in my tendency to always want to be the saving grace in almost any situation that is important to me. My parents raised me with these customs when I was considerably of age to do so. Traditionally, the eldest son or daughter in Sierra Leone is viewed as the second mother or second father to their siblings. In terms of respect, the oldest siblings are to be respected highly. In terms of protection, the oldest siblings are held responsible when the parents are absent. It is a win-win situation. I promise.
    Moments later, my younger brother came spiraling into the living room, yelling my name. I gave him my attention as he broke the news to me. Several people have been pronounced dead in the eastern provinces (Kailahun and Kenema) of Sierra Leone. The leading cause of the deaths were due to the ebola virus. What seemed like a wonderful start to a relaxing, school-free, fun-filled summer vacation turned out to be the worst year of my life.
    As the months flew by, more and more ebola-related cases captivated the country. At that point, there were many restrictions on how people moved about in the country. There was a regulated curfew that was set in place for the entire city of Freetown. Basically, everyone was not to be found outside of their homes after 9pm for any recreational purposes. This was really happening. We were really enduring the epiphany of darkness. I have never felt as defeated like the way I did during that period in my life.

    Like

  15. I believe that the death of someone special in your life will lead to great inner strength and personal progression. It’s alright to be sad during a time of loss, that’s how I was when my family lost my grandmother in 2016 due to cancer. My family and I were heart-struck given the personal connection each and every one of us had with her. Let’s back up, in the summer of 2003 my grandmother took me on my first ever fishing trip, and it wasn’t the last. Fishing was our way of bonding for years, until she passed. I was in possession of all of her fishing gear, which was more than special to me. It was almost as if I was still holding onto a piece of her. My grandmothers death hasn’t taught me to feed off sorrow, it has taught me to reconstruct a connection that had fallen apart. Which, over the years, has made me an internally stronger person. Each and every time I fish, I lose a piece of that sorrow and gain a piece of knowledge. That knowledge being, to be one in the moment and not the past. Allowing me to pull away from where my darkest dreams lie and continue a journey to a lifetime of happiness. Now fishing isn’t just a hobby, it’s a place where I get to continue the connection between my grandmother and I.

    Like

  16. I believe the loss of a loved one will eventually make you stronger as a person. October 2th 2005, a day that I will never forget. Like usual I would spend the day with my nana because my mom and dad would be at work. She would cook us whatever we wanted and later on we would make desserts together, it was the best. Later that night we had to go pick up my dad from work which wasn’t that far from the house. Once we got there my nana started beeping the horn to let him know we were there to get him. After a few minutes and he still wasn’t coming my nana went to go get him as my brother and I played around in the back seat. All of a sudden I hear the most heart wrenching scream I’ve ever heard. I only remember little snippets of that day but that is something I just can’t forget. I knew something was wrong since everyone crying around me but I didn’t know exactly how bad it was. I later found out that dad had passed away from an accident at work. I never expected my life to change in the matter of seconds. As I got older it hit me more on how much he missed and is going to miss in my life like watching me graduate highschool and go onto college at Umass Dartmouth, family vacations, and walking me down the aisle on my wedding day. I know how bad this hurts me but my mom and nana are suffering more than me. My mom and dad had been together since middle school, they were the definition of true love. Ever since he has been gone my mom has done anything and everything for my brother and I, I really don’t know what I would do without her. She helps me get through each day and I put my all into helping her get through it too. My family and I personally have been going through so many difficult situations lately but with the strength I have gained over the past 13 years of not having a father I manage to get through it. I will miss my dad everyday as I continue to grow and begin this new chapter in life but I will always look back and cherish the few memories I do have with him. I live everyday as best a possible because it can turn into the worst day of your life in the matter of seconds.

    Like

  17. August 1st 2016, a day that will forever be inscripted into my head. The rush and horrifying adrenaline shot up my spine as I heard my mother’s call for help. I ran downstairs to her breaking down on the phone screaming “This can’t be real, it’s only a dream”. But it wasn’t. That phone call had broken my mother’s heart for the rest of her life. To find out her 23 year old daughter was no longer responsive. As my sister was in and out of sober houses and rehab, we could only find hope in her getting better each day. As many don’t know drug use doesn’t just affect the person using, it affects their family, friends and loved ones around them. My sister, my sibling and most importantly my best friend left me that warm yet cold summer day. I’ve come to take on many character traits of her. Living in the moment and most importantly her humor. As many people suffering addiction, you only hope to see them go up rather than down. But seeing my sister struggle years after years, I have finally settled to know she is in a better place. And I know she may not be here physically, but mentally and spiritually she always will be with me. Having been the youngest of 4, it took a hard hit on all my siblings as well. Not knowing what holidays and birthdays would be like without her. But somehow we seemed to find peace knowing that she will always look over us and will no longer suffer from the daily struggles of using.

    Like

  18. We lose people for a reason; there is a reason for everything.

    In the winter of 2015 I lost my grandfather. He was suffering from Alzheimer’s for many years before he left us. Whenever he and I saw each other we would give each other a thumbs up to make sure we were both okay. This all started in the rehab facilitation after he broke his knee and 2 ribs. He was unable to talk so the first thing I did when I walked into his room was give him a thumbs up to make sure he was okay. It stuck.

    He was the most lovable man I have ever met in my whole life. He genuinely cared about his family maybe more than himself. He built the house that I live in now to make sure that his family had a sturdy home to live in. He always played with me and my siblings even if we annoyed him a lot. He was the one that taught me how to play chess and hammer nails in without braking my fingers.

    The days leading up to his passing, he was slowly becoming unable to talk to us, so I would always give him a thumbs up when I walked past his room. On the night he left us, he was unable to speak completely, but he held my mothers hand the entire time; he wanted us to know that he is there for us and will always be. He didn’t let go until my siblings and I left the house.

    I have never cried so much. My whole body could not move as I sat in the bathroom crying in silence. I could hear the cries from his room and the rushing foot steps around the house. I still could not get up, not until my mom came in to get me.

    I realize today that he is with me no matter where I go and he is closer to me today that he was before. I can talk to him whenever I need guidance on a situation. He will always be with me and I am more comfortable knowing that he is not struggling and is in a happy place.

    Like

  19. My dad had suffered a stroke in 2006, after numerous pleas for him to better his eating habits, stress levels, and subtle drinking routine to prevent the damage he could do. After his initial hospitalization, he was legally blind and could no longer continue his career at both jobs, being a supervising manager in Boston and working as a damage appraiser for a large insurance company. In 2009, my dad had another stroke while still disregarding both my family and his close friends telling him he needed to change his ways. But this time things were different. He had a want to live. He was slowly getting better and learning that in order to avoid any serious health effects, he needed to take attention to what he was doing to his body. A month or two later, while things were going well, my mom received a call that my dad had contracted pneumonia and a blood clot in his lungs. Sadly it was my moms’ decision to “cut the cord.” He was practically brain dead and while knowing my father for those nine short years of my life, my mom as well as I knew that, that way of living wasn’t one he would want, subsequently, being a so called burden on the family. With that, he passed and my life has not been the same.

    As a constellation, I have used my dad’s passing as motivation for my own life. Seeing how much he did in his lifetime to provide a more than comfortable upbringing and life for my family is far more admirable than anything else. Recollecting times when I’d stay up till three in the morning to wait for him to get home so we’d have some time together, eating sleeves of cookies and watching movies until he had to go back to work makes me smile to think about at times where I feel bombarded with deadlines and things due. His ambition and dedication to bettering his life encourages me to get up and be an overachiever in any circumstance. You can’t look at hardship as an occurrence to pity and dwell over; you must use it to your advantage to overcome and make yourself stronger. I thank and commend my dad and look forward to making him proud with my hopeful achievements I plan to make this fall at UMD.

    Like

  20. Growing up as a child I never really payed attention to my surroundings that much when it came to losses in my family our tragic things that happened within my community I was only focused on what sport was I gonna play during recess or what cartoon am I going to watch early on Saturday morning but as I got older and older I started to pay attention to people that would disappear from my life like they went on vacation and never came back. All of that changed when my entire family came together for thanks giving and something just felt tense and I finally I realized that my uncle Jon (my god father) had not been his normal self like from all of the pictures of us together. Getting older I knew that my uncle had been a drinker among other things which didn’t feel unusual coming from and extremely Irish family, everybody just mentioned that “it was part of life, the Irish were always big drinkers” and after the first time I went to the hospital after my uncle Jon fell, my eyes finally opened and I realized my family member and people in my community were falling apart due to drugs and alcohol my entire life it just never bothered me or actually affected me because my parents wouldn’t let me go to wakes or funerals when I was younger or even be around anyone that was mourning a loved one but once I started to put all of the pieces of the puzzle together it seemed like I just got thrown into real life like I was leaving a video game. Going to school actually became a relief sometimes because my family was always stressing about one of my relatives with cancer, one of my relatives that got a hip replaced and the list goes on and on and on so when I was in school I was always surrounded by my friends who played sports or the girls who danced because they reminded me about how I used to be before stressing about everything that could happen to you when you get older.
    Finally I get the call from my parents who were on vacation at the time that after battling alcoholism and throat cancer my uncle Jon had passed away April 20th, 2017.
    After the funeral and a lot of grieving with family members I finally had a better understanding of human life that you need to life the life that you want to live because like everybody always says “we’re here for a good time not a long time” which means achieve things in life that make you happy or make you feel good because at the end of my life I most certainly wish that I did everything I possibly could for the people in my life and I have absolutely no regrets.

    Like

  21. I believe that everything happens for a reason. One thing I couldn’t understand about that is why my grandmother had to leave me so early. It wasn’t too early for her but it was for me, she was 89 and I was 12. It was her time, I was just being selfish I thought. She was my best friend, I did so much with her I couldn’t picture my life without her. I looked up to her, she was a wonderful, funny, sweet, generous and stunning lady. There isn’t one thing she wouldn’t do for anyone. She was always willing to help others along with making sure she was taking care of too. She was very spontaneous as well, there was a time she wanted to go to Hawaii with a few friends so she just jumped onto a plane without telling anyone. She did call my grandfather when she was there though. She always knew how to put a smile on peoples faces, even when she was in the hospital. I stayed in the hospital with her for a week until she passed away, it was the hardest things I have ever experienced still to this day. I even took it into my own hands to even speak at her services and read her eulogy. Everything I do is to make her proud, I knew if she was here today she would be so happy with me. I believe the reason her beautiful soul had to leave this earth was to help make me a better person. She is the best guardian angel to look over me.

    Like

  22. “Life is exactly what you make of it”. In the summer of 2011, my father suddenly passed away. I was in shock, I was sad, I was angry, I was confused, and I stayed like this for a long time after his passing. At 11 years old, I had become depressed. I hated myself and everything around me. I would constantly have negative thoughts about myself. I grew away from my friends and wanted to be alone. I saw nothing for myself in the future. I was despondent and quite frankly did not want to be alive. Eventually, though, I was sick of it. I had been angry and miserable for long enough. I despised the way I was feeling so I decided to change it. I asked myself, “Why am I wasting my life on being upset when I can go do whatever makes me happy?”
    My father was not only my dad but he was also my best friend. I couldn’t change the fact that he was gone and I couldn’t change the fact that I was reminded about it everyday. I could, however, change my environment and surround myself with objects and people that made me feel positive. I started going out with my friends more. Instead of waiting for someone to ask me to hangout and mope when no one did, I started asking people to go places. I left the people that were hindering my healing process, behind. I began to force myself to be optimistic. Even if I wasn’t truly feeling that way, at least I was attempting to see the potential positives in life. I figured that I could “fake it until I make it”. After a few years though, it became like a habit. I no longer had to force myself to see the light in dark situations and I no longer had to force myself to have fun. It all started to come naturally.
    After several years, I’ve defined my own rules to live by and molded my own core values, all of which are based on positivity. Now, I always try to be as positive as I can. I do this by trying not to dwell on the negative things for too long. In my eyes there’s two options when faced with something negative, either fix the problem if you can or learn a lesson from it.
    Now, I also try not to be over critical. When I was younger, I used to always find myself comparing myself and others to my definition of “perfect”. Even now, I’ll sometimes find myself judging someone on the way they dress, or really anything as small and as insignificant to me as that and I think, “Why?” Why am I forcing negativity into a situation where it’s unnecessary? If they like the way they dress, or look, or express themselves no one else should have the ability to ruin their confidence for them. Why would one want to go out of their way to put negativity into their day. As easy as it is to judge someone negatively, it’s just as easy to tell them their dress is pretty or you like their hair. I try to remind myself of this everyday and I try to remind myself to enjoy everything I can and to attempt to put as much positivity into the world as possible.
    The major lesson I’ve taken away from a tragic situation and my life as a whole, so far, is that you can’t always control what happens in life but life really is what you make of it. You truly do have the ability to change what you do and don’t like about your life and how you’re living it. In my life, I choose to be happy and see the positives in situations and I’ve decided to evolve into a better version of myself.

    Like

  23. While it is true that we are different in our own ways the fact remains that we have shared experiences. As the middle child I grew up looking up to my older brother and understanding that I had to be a role model for my sister. This caused me to believe in integrity and resilience. At the age of fourteen I was forced to mature and take on the role of the oldest child due to my brother being murdered. To this day I cannot find one word to describe how I felt once it set in that he was never coming home though the doors that night, or any other night.
    Through the support of my friends and family I was able to overcome my grief and see some light in my future. An interest I had as a child was to become a mentor within the criminal justice system or to help those in need within the healthcare field. The child of two immigrants from Haiti who had lost their first and only son now had the highest hopes that the remaining children would be able to live the life they dreamed of for them. Despite the world appearing to be unfair at first I fought on.
    I believe that that everyone has the ability to overcome any barriers in their path to success or happiness. I believe in being passionate and the fact that we can only change things for the better beginning with ourselves.

    Like

  24. Have you ever told yourself that nothing seriously bad will ever happen in your life? Yeah, I told myself that at one point. Yet, never did I know that something bad was going to happen to me when I was only 16 years old and that it was going to change my life forever. May 25th, 2016 at 8.45 in the morning. When I looked at the clock, my stomach dropped, and my heart started beating rapidly. Something was wrong and I couldn’t figure it out. I presumed that if something was wrong, I would have heard from my mom, but I didn’t. When I got home that afternoon, my stepfather looked at me, and I could see the sadness in his eyes. ‘You’re mother received some bad news from home today. You’re Uncle Rick, he shot and killed himself this morning. I’m so sorry.” I didn’t believe it at first, but once he bowed his head and slowly turned away I knew how true it was. My legs caved in and I fell to the ground. I gazed off into the distance, my heart shattered. What pushed him so far over the edge that he thought this was his only way out? Did he think of us, his family, how much we loved him and how much we’d miss him, or how much pain this would cost us? My life will never be the same, my whole family was torn in two not knowing how to deal with this.

    Like

  25. One of the many phrases I have heard growing up time and time again would have to be “ Having a big family means you have much more to lose.” Over the past few years that has sadly become more true than I would have ever hoped at my age. Growing up, I only ever knew my mother’s side of the family. My family consisted of my grandmother, her 14 children, and their children. It’s a strange thing being around so many people all the time but also, thinking back now it seems as soon as a new person was born, someone else would die. We’ve experienced a lot of that growing up, and now that i’m old i can understand it better. it’s like its getting more and more difficult to deal with. Having so many people you’ve grown up with and have gotten as close as possible to, the ones you’ve known your whole life, dying and leaving you is just something you never want to experience. And unfortunately it has happened to me more than enough times.
    With every person that has passed, it has become more real believable that with life, you can be doing great or just fine and then you might not be doing fine. I’ve come to realize that the last few deaths have impacted me so much because it was the people in my life that was the most important to me, my mother and then my grandmother. My grandmother passed back in April of this year, from something as simple as a fall out of bed could take a life just like that. With my mother, it was different; she had Lupus and was sick for a very long time. She was laughing and smiling and a few short weeks later she was gone. That is what has lead me to realize that life is very short, especially when I am living with the same illness that my mother was living with. My mother always told me to just live my life and we would be okay, as long as we lived our lives the way we wanted to.
    All and all my dearly departed loved ones have taught me no matter what life throws at you to keep pushing and bettering yourself. Experience different cultures, travel the world, gather as much knowledge as I can. “Carpe Diem. Seize the day.” I am here, in 2018 attending my second attempt at college after planning to do just that; and i believe i will.

    Like

  26. I believe that a death near to you can push you to work much harder and be a better more well rounded person.

    As much as I hate to believe that my dad is no longer physically here I know that he is always with me in spirit and I know that he will always be there with me in my everyday life. As I approach the one year anniversary of his death I can recall the entire story as if I were in a loop in time where I was stuck in that one moment where it had all begun. My father was a very hard worker in fact a construction worker at that. He had never let anything get him to stop and he always powered through everything. One day while he was at work he had all of a sudden began to stagger and could feel his heart racing as if he had just drank a gallon of energy drinks. he called my mom and told her but being 20 minutes from home he felt that he could drive home. once he had gotten home he called her again and she had called 911. He told me and the anxious person I am I began to freak out and ask many questions. so he was able to walk into the ambulance on his own and they were off. after many tests and one restless night we found out that he had atrial fibrillation which caused a flap in his heart to open and close irregularly which caused a high heart rate, and his heart to skip beats. This was caused however by an outlying disorder that he had called aortic stenosis which caused his aortic valve to shrink as he got older. So after talking with the cardiologist we realized that it was time for surgery which was inevitable. So after going over the operation with the surgeon my dad was operated on September 11 2017. I was allowed to go see him on Thursday which I was super happy about and when I got there he was cracking jokes and had high spirits. Early Friday morning I woke up for school and realized my mom wasn’t home and I saw a text from her saying that my dad had a hard time breathing so she needed to head up to the hospital as quick as possible. Upon reading that there was a knocking at my door which turned to be my godmother. She was here to take me and my little brother to the hospital because she felt that if anything happened we needed to be there. So we got there and went into the waiting room where all of my family was and my mom sat us down and told us the news. Around 4am he had a hard time breathing so they intubated him (put him to sleep) so he wouldn’t feel anything. They proceeded with 2 hours of cpr but it didn’t work. So after all that had happened it took about a month for the autopsy report which came up with absolutely no answer. But as disheartning as that was it fueled a fire that drove me to go and put myself out there more and try harder at what I wanted. It motivated me to get job quicker and it pushed me to be more successful in life and that is what is going to drive me through college and through life because I want to make him proud and I want to live my best life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m sorry for your loss Cory. I understand what you were going through because I’ve been in a similar situation which caused me to look to the future as you have. It is hard to lose a loved one but to be able to move on and live life to make them proud is the best thing we can do to hold on.

      Like

  27. I believe grief and loss can change a person, the kind of change you allow however is completely up to you. You can let the grief consume you or you can use it as a drive for success and achievement. Early into this year, I lost my father and then three weeks ago I lost my aunt to ovarian cancer. Both of these losses were devastating and I almost let he grief consume me I was sad for weeks in my room avoiding everyone I had no appetite at all and zero desire for human contact. In spite of everything that had happened I woke up one day and decided this is not only no way to live life but not what neither my father or aunt would want of me. The pain of a loss can be overwhelming but a loss is an inevitable part of life. Both my aunt and father’s last wishes were to see me go to college so I made the conscious decision to use them as my motivation to thrive. I’m going to Umass Dartmouth with the belief I will succeed and not only make them proud but fulfill their wish. I honestly believe everything that has happened is all apart of whom I’m becoming and whom I am destined to be. I am not the same person I was before these losses I’ve become a new person with a new outlook on life one that’s radiant and full of positivity because you only get one you have to do everything in your capability to live it to the fullest and achieve all your dreams and goals.

    Like

  28. Romulo Cabrera
    8/13/2018

    People believe in many different ideas, some with concrete facts, like the theory of relativity, while others believe with faith, like religion. What do I believe in? Well, I believe that people change depending the situation. A person’s moral, belief, and persona can bend in the darkest of times. Not only does one change for the worst, they can also have a change of heart. This all depends in what type of situation one is found in and how strong their will is.

    In the movie, “The Dark Knight”, there is a character named Harvey Dent, was supposed to be the new hero of Gotham, that didn’t wear a mask. He was praised by everyone for his fierce tactics of rounding up the mobsters, this made him the target of the Joker. The Joker kidnapped both Harvey and his girlfriend, rigged both with explosives at different locations and made batman choose who he’d save. Batman chose to save Harvey, and Harvey’s girlfriend would later die with Harvey hearing it all happen. As both Batman and Harvey were escaping, half of Harvey’s face burned off, leaving him completely disconfigured. The Joker would later manipulate Harvey and make him have a change of heart, making him go on a killing rampage.

    The importance of all of this is that it goes to show how the greatest of people can be changed when pushed far enough. Harvey was known as the beacon of hope for Gotham, a man that did not need a mask or have to act like a vigilante to protect his city. Once people started dying because of him, especially his girlfriend and burnt face, he was consumed by all his rage and manipulated by evil. The once righteous man would become a cold blooded killer set on giving out revenge to everyone involved in the incident.

    Within the movie, there was a scene where two boats were rigged with explosives and were forced to decide which one blows up, or else both would meet the same fate. One of the boats carried some of the worst criminals from Gotham, while the other carried civilians. The boat with the civilians at first were completly for detonating the boat with criminals saying that they chose their path when they committed their crime. The criminals also wanted to blow up the other ship, but not as set on it. At the end one of the civilians volunteered to detonate the ship, but could not follow through. One of the criminals decided to get the detonator and threw it off the ship, basically accepting all their fate and wanting their ship to blow. At the end, neither of the ships decided to blow each other up and ended up surviving since it was just a game by the Joker.
    This scene shows just how of an animals humans are when it comes to their own benefit, the civilians tried justifying detonating the ship full of criminals because of the fact they were criminals. One would expect the criminals to decide right away to blow the other ship since they are perceived to be selfish, but instead they threw the detinator of the other ship overboard. The darkest of times change people, you get to see a person’s true colors in those moments.

    Situations can change the greatest man into a monster with enough will bending and loss, like Harvey. Situations can also bring out the best in a person, like when the prisoners took the noble act of tossing their detonator and rendering themselves the target. “You either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain” ~ Harvey Dent

    Like

  29. I believe that my mother would want me to celebrate her memory.
    It has been around 5 years since my mother lost her battle with cancer. From that moment on, I have been on a constant flux of emotions that I continue to cope with. However, after all this time I can look back and appreciate the times spent with her alive, and share her memory with others who knew her. I remember that my mother was a passionate and kind hearted woman who resonated with everyone that knew her. She was the kind of person to keep her friends close, setting aside any squandering to help her friends because of the love she had for them. She was always the ‘caretaker’ of the family, and often among her friends. She always helped her friends if they were lost and gave the world nothing but kindness and care. She was even studying to become a nurse up until the time she grew ill.
    Her passing had left me in a state of depression and anxious behavior that I still continue to cope with today. While I still grieve for her, I cannot help but think that this is not how she would want to see me. She was never the sort for sulking around and probably would have told me to stop moping and look around at the good, happy things in my life. That is why on the annual day of her passing, I try not to be sad or alone, but rather at the table with friends and family, reminding ourselves of the lessons she gave to all of us and the good moments we spent together. Celebrating the memory of my mother keeps her memory alive.

    Like

  30. I once believed that I was so emotionless that i didn’t love my great-grandmother. I remember the day I heard my she died, August 17th 2018. Everyone was so sad, but i wasn’t I sat and thought to myself “Why arent i crying ? Am I in denial or in shock? Is something wrong with me? Do I not feel emotion? Do i not love her?” When we landed in Puerto Rico we learned we would be attending the wake that night. I panicked because I was scared to see her dead body, I hadn’t prepared myself in any sense, but who’s prepared for the death of a loved one? I looked at her body in the casket and didn’t recognize her. I couldn’t see her beautiful smile, her face wasn’t the way I remembered it, she looked so different.When the casket was lowering into the ground the tears showed up, I was crying so hard i couldn’t see. I remembered all the times I would go to her apartment when I was little, she would make her arepa’s and I used to sit in her lap and watch novelas with her. I regret not visiting her in the hospital when she got sick, not having more conversations with her. In that moment I felt so much emotion, more emotion that I felt when I first heard she died. After writing this I now realize how much emotion I felt during that time. I now believe that I loved my her so much that I couldn’t even handle her death in a normal way.

    Like

  31. When I was younger, I began going to my older cousin’s house who had just acquired a brand new PlayStation three. We used to play all the time. One of the most memorable games was Mafia 2. “You have to put gas on the car Marcelo” He once told me. I used to sleep over all the time it was like my second home even though he was much older than me.
    One Saturday morning 5 years ago I was sleeping and I overheard my mom off the phone in a sad tone. Then I heard my stepdad scream, What! I get up, and I open my door to see my stepdad, and he tells me with a terrified voice “They killed Jonathan” In disbelief, I looked at my mom on the bed with tears in her eyes and I walked into my room shut the door and laid back down.
    All I thought about was everything he had done and now he is gone. The pain did not kick in until his funeral. He was the one who taught me to play NBA Live 08. He gave me so many life lessons, and he was gone. I didn’t even want to go to school. I only missed one day and I knew that I couldn’t miss school because my education was important. I told myself that, even though I may be sad on the inside I have to stay positive for the future on the outside.

    Like

  32. Everyone is fortunate to have parents.
    Unfortunately, some of us are not as fortunate as others. Although everyone has two parents biologically, some of us are unlucky enough to fall into the category of only having one present. I fall into this category. My father was my first heartbreak and the reason I am the way I am today. In many ways it damaged my outlook on life and ambitions for the future. Seeing the man in my life come and go for years affected me in every way. As years went on I grew immune to the negativity and manipulative games my father played. I don’t remember his favorite food, TV shows or what his voice sounds like anymore. I remember the hiking trips and running out in the rain but to me now, he’s a mere shadow, unfortunately that never seems to fail at haunting my mind.
    To this day, I still do not know the reason why he started acting the way that he did. “Some people just aren’t meant to be together” my single mother told me and that would be the end of it. Although I was only ten at the time, I still blame myself for my father’s absence. I know that with all my flaws and troubles that I have, raising a teenager is a difficult job to do alone.
    Unfortunately, I grew up without a father figure in my life. But, I have become a strong, self-reliant person because of that. I know that in order to move on in life, you have to put your best foot forward and nothing less. It’s not the length in life, but the depth in which you interpret it.

    Like

  33. While looking at my peers posts and seeing the hardships each and every individual has endured, a match was struck within me. Not a single person can honestly say they have never felt the pain of loss, that they have never been through difficult times, or never had a bad day. Whether heartbreaking or insignificant, people experience difficulty in life. I believe this is a fact. With my most personal hardship being the loss of a best friend to suicide, I understand how much a single event can rearrange your world. Being the last person to speak to my friend affected my life more than words can express; I had reached a feeling of hopelessness toward the future. While this tremendous loss was painful for me, I witnessed everyone surrounding me grieve in other ways. Close friends bonded over shared memories, teachers reflected on his humorous personality, and positivity was spread throughout the community. Slowly, but surely, each and every person affected was able to move forward from his passing and accept the gift his life brought. To this day I am awestruck by the waves of sympathy and compassion that helped me resurface in an ocean of hope. While events like these are unbearable, it is important to remember that with the darkness comes the light. In moments of sadness, we can find that hope. I believe in moving forward. As we begin our new journey at Umass Dartmouth, I hope we will be aware that our peers move forward at different paces and with kindness and courage, no one will go through troubled times alone.

    Like

  34. May 19, 2017, at 11:44 P.M. will by far be the one the worst moments of my life. I never once wanted to believe this was possible, even though it was inevitable. Around 5 o’clock in the morning, my younger sister, Madison was rushed to Charlton Memorial Hospital because she was struggling to breathe. Madison was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma in 2014. We were shocked and a difficult journey began for our family. Osteosarcoma is a rare form of bone cancer that affects mostly young adults. She repeatedly recovered and relapsed for about three years. Her condition suddenly turned for the worse when one of her lungs collapsed. Though there was not much they could do to save her life, she was rushed to Boston to be with her nurses and doctors that have been with her throughout her whole journey. She was placed in the Intensive Care Unit where she was comforted and assisted with air. Our friends and family surrounded her with comfort and love throughout the day.

    I struggled with the idea that my sister who was exactly eighteen months younger than me, had to fight for her life. We had many challenges throughout her illness, but we also had so many blessings. We were blessed with an incredible team of doctors and nurses that soon became our family. Despite her illness, Madison never let anyone know she was weak. She always had a smile that was contiguous. She was witty and funny. She always made us laugh. She never asked for anything. She was content with simple things. She always said thank you after any kind gesture you did for her. Madison taught me so many things in her short life and I would do anything to change the plan that God had for her. From my experiences, I believe in always looking on the bright side of every situation, to never take anything for granted, and to cherish every moment with those that you love.

    Like

    • This really resonates with me because I shared the same message in my essay about being grateful for the loved ones around you. This message is so important and people overlook it thinking time is forever. I’m sorry for the pain you went through because I know how it is. But luckily, you took the message that you needed to receive and now we both know to never take people or moments for granted.

      Like

    • I can’t imagine how you were feeling and I won’t pretend to know the loss that you’re experiencing. Like Dylan said: “It is hard to lose a loved one but to be able to move on and live life to make them proud is the best thing we can do to hold on.”

      Like

  35. On September 25, 2012, my grandfather left this world. Grey hair, always a mess. Work clothes, always dirty. Driving my father crazy, always there. My grandfather and I were always in trouble, but he would always take the blame. He was my protector, my idol, my best friend. An amazing man who knew a lot of people, to know him was to love him. To say that we were very close would be an understatement. I was his little boy and he was my hero. Then it happened, he was diagnosed with sarcoidosis, a horrible disease of the lungs. As time went on, his health continually declined and as the disease progressed his suffering increased. Eventually, the doctors informed my father that there was no longer any hope. Our family would have to let him go.
    Everyone faces hard choices in their lives at one time or another but to have to decide whether to let a loved one go is possibly the hardest anyone could have to make. When my grandfather passed away I understood the fact that letting him go although difficult for me was really the best for him. I had watched him slowly suffer in silence, never complaining. Deep down I knew that when his struggle was over he would finally be at peace and that the debilitating pain would be gone. I understand why we want to hold on to our loved ones, but we must realize that it is a selfish choice to allow them to suffer so that we can keep them with us. I believe that we must choose to be compassionate and sacrifice our needs for our loved ones.

    Like

  36. If I had to choose a catchphrase for myself, it would definitely be “I love you”. Why? Because I believe that people need to show more gratefulness for the loved ones in their life. I could be going out to get gas real quick and I would still make it a point to tell my family I love them before I leave. Ever since I was young, I have dealt with the deaths of many family members and friends; leaving me unable to cope with death. It took me years of thinking and therapy to come to the conclusion that one cannot cheat death because it is a part of life; but to make it a little less scary, show everyone that means something to you that they really matter in your life. You never know when the last time you will see someone is because life is crazy and death can come when least expecting it. Although, this is terrifying, it has taught me to never take someone or their time for granted because it can all be taken from you when you least expect it. Always say, “I love you” before you say bye. Always hug your parents and friends before you go out or leave. Why? Well, because if you never see them again, you will know you gave them as much as you could to make their life a little better and meaningful. My worst fear is losing someone and not being able to say bye or tell them I love them. It is that fear that makes me believe you must always cherish the people in your life because when they are gone, you can no longer show them how much they mean and everyone deserves to feel loved and appreciated during their life.

    Like

  37. The loss of my grandpa was a very upsetting thing for me. He passed away in March of 2017. I’m Cambodian and in my culture and religion, which is Buddhism, when a family member dies then the male has a choice to become a monk for as long as they’d like. I chose to become one for a day when my grandpa passed. The process is long but simple. You shave your head and all of your facial hair, including your eyebrows. Strip off the clothes you’re wearing all the way down to your underwear and put on a three-layer robe. The robe is three layers and is mostly orange. Then after that, you have to recite something in a different language, that’s not Khmer, that the elder monk is saying to you. After that you’ve become a monk.
    During my short time as a monk I was told to meditate for 20 minutes and I was thinking really hard during that 20 minutes that seemed like forever and it hit me. I realized a lot of things during that time. I had to stop all the fooling around I was doing my entire life. I know it’s okay to do it at times but often is just too much. I understand that it was kind of late to realize that, but it wasn’t too late to change myself. It took some time for me to actually process all of it and mature as a person to make the huge leap. The loss and grief of my Grandpa was long, but I would say it matured me and made me a better person.

    Like

  38. The first tweet that caught my attention was the one that said, “I can’t believe she’s really gone”. I was confused and wanted to ask “What? How? Why?” but I didn’t. “We were so close, how could this have happened?” another one said. I kept wondering what was going on, but I didn’t ask. I thought she was pretending someone was dead so she can get some attention, so I ignored her.
    When one of my closest friends needed me the most, I wasn’t there for her. The pain of losing someone isn’t very nice, so imagine the anger and hurt someone must go through when the people they are closer to doesn’t give them support. That’s how it felt to her after all those weeks i didn’t talk to her, even after her friend died in a car accident on the highway. Being petty isn’t a good thing and after you do it to someone, that’s when you realize how hard it is. I’ve learned not to hold on to grudges when it comes to relationships and to always forgive people because you never know what can happen the next day.
    I’ve had many encounters in my life where I had to decide whether I should talk about the situation or ignore it. Grown so much as a person from my freshman in high school and freshman in college. I’ve learned that when you hold grudges and ignore many important things in life, you lower yourself and your status.

    Like

  39. Death. We all wonder why people have to die and why our loved ones go way to soon. My dad died when I was twelve to a freak accident while working. I remember sitting bedside with him when he took his last breaths and knowing that this wasn’t even really that hard part. The hard part was going to be living my life knowing that he would never be there again, not at my graduation and not at my wedding not at anything I would want him to. My heart is broken forever and on somedays my brain is still a fog like it was that day. I had so many questions that I will never have the answer to. It came without a warning so I had no time to prepare. One day he was here and the next he wasn’t. I had never lost anyone before I lost him so it was a big shock. I believe grief is one of the hardest thing to deal with because one day you accept the fact that they are no longer around and then all of a sudden you crying hysterically because you wish you could just have one last conversation or one last goodbye. I believe that his death wasn’t for nothing. I believe that it shaped me into the better and stronger person I am today. I believe that it showed me peoples true colors. I believe that although death is hard and horrible it is for a reason.

    Like

Comments are closed.